Psychopaths populate the earth with impunity. We are all surrounded by them. Much like silicon, they permeate the long solitary coastlines of our existence. Some of us were parented by psychopaths, some partner with them, some work for them, and some have them for children and friends–each relationship sucking the wind out of a normal person.

Some are unlucky enough to find them each relationship they form. This is especially true for those who were parented by psychopaths. Such parenting can have two outcomes. The children of psychopaths may end up becoming psychopaths themselves. This is not only learned and copied behavior, but also serves to protect them from the psychopath.

Alternately, the child psychopath may find relationships that are psychopathic. Since they have learnt from early age to deal with a psychopath, their vulnerable psyche searches out the psychopaths in the adult world, so the drama may be replayed over and over again. This is the path of least resistance.

For both kind of children-turning-adults, psychopathic parenting becomes a solitary prison in which they remain trapped for life, unless they stumble into psychotherapy and re-train their nascent minds. Quite predictably, the children of psychopaths are unable to recognise parental psychopathy and will often label their behavior as “normal” or “loving” but this is simple stockholm Syndrome where the abuse victim develops emotional attachment, sympathy, or even loyalty toward their captor/abuser. Coined after a 1973 bank robbery in Stockholm (Norrmalmstorg), where hostages defended their captors after release, it constitutes a survival strategy under extreme stress, trauma bonding, intermittent reinforcement (fear mixed with small “kindnesses”), and identification with the aggressor. Other terms signifying the behavior are Trauma bonding, capture-bonding, battered woman syndrome (context-specific), learned helplessness. Although not quite a formal DSM-5 diagnosis; some psychologists see it as an umbrella label for several well-known stress and attachment responses rather than a distinct syndrome.

The closest DSM V comes to psychopathy is the Antisocial Personality Disorder. This diagnosis assigned to individuals who habitually and pervasively disregard or violate the rights and considerations of others without remorse. People with Antisocial Personality Disorder may be habitual criminals, or engage in behavior which would be grounds for criminal arrest and prosecution, or they may engage in behaviors which skirt the edges of the law, or manipulate and hurt others in non-criminal ways which are widely regarded as unethical, immoral, irresponsible, or in violation of social norms and expectations. Such people often possess an impaired moral conscience and make decisions driven purely by their own desires without considering the needs or negative effects of their actions on others.  Criminal behavior is common.  

The terms psychopathy or sociopathy are also used, in some contexts synonymously, but in others, sociopath is differentiated from a psychopath, in that a sociopathy is rooted in environmental causes, while psychopathy is genetically based.

People with a well-developed moral conscience experience intense psychological distress—guilt, shame, anxiety, self-loathing—when they violate their own ethical code. This internal conflict is a form of suffering in itself.

A hallmark of psychopathy is a profound lack of guilt, remorse, or empathy. Their primary “suffering” often stems from the consequences of their actions (e.g., getting caught, facing punishment, what-will-people-say fears), not from an internal moral conflict.

Such individuals generally tend to be charismatic, attractive, and very good at obtaining sympathy from others; for example, describing themselves as the victim of injustice. Some studies suggest that the average intelligence of antisocials is higher than the norm. Antisocials possess a superficial charm, they can be thoughtful and cunning, and have an intuitive ability to rapidly observe and analyze others, determine their needs and preferences, and present it in a manner to facilitate manipulation and exploitation.

They are able to harm and use other people in this manner, without remorse, guilt, shame or regret.  It is widely stated that antisocials are without empathy, however this can be disputed, as sadistic antisocials will use empathy to experience their victim’s suffering, and derive a fuller pleasure from it (Turvey, 1995). This is depicted in the classic work A Cask of Amontillado by Poe, as the main character entombs another man alive

...then I heard the furious vibrations of the chain. The noise lasted for several minutes, during which, that I might hearken to it with the more satisfaction, I ceased my labours and sat down upon the bones.” (Poe, 1846 ).

Some research also suggests that sociopaths and psychopaths do have degrees of empathy, but with an innate ability to switch it off at will. (Meffer, Gazzola, den Boer, Bartells, 2013).

Psychopaths are generally also defined by their narcissistic disorders, and per Freud, they are essentially untreatable. Psychosis, and Narcissism were found to be untreatable by Freud, although Jung found psychosis treatable. Masterson developed a very entrenched and lengthy treatment for narcissism. To my knowledge, psychopathy was never found to be treatable in psychotherapy by anyone (but I may be wrong).

One learns from quantum physics that the world which exists around us is created by our own belief system. So, if a psychopath does not believe in a moral world suffused with an ethical code, would the lack of his belief absolve him of the bad karma arising from his misconduct? Will he not shape a world that is entirely unethical? The murderers, rapists, child molesters, thugs, thieves and cardinals of the Roman Church – if they didnt find anything wrong with their conduct, would the spiritual doctrines of karmic justice apply to them like these do for a person who possesses an interiority that is capable of holding a tension of opposites, and a dialogue with these opposites. The guilt and suffering of an ethical person is the immediate working of their karma. It’s the consequence manifesting in real-time as psychological torment. It’s the universe’s (or their own psyche’s) way of course-correcting.

In 1985, fresh out of engineering college, I used to travel from my studio apartment to my office in a rickshaw. The rickshaw puller would pick me up every morning, and I’d walk back home in the evening. I paid him on monthly basis. Then, one day suddenly he said that he had an emergency that required him to return to his village. I merely nodded my head and said ok. He didn’t ask for the money I owed him for that month, and I didn’t offer, thinking he’d return. He never returned.

The psychopath’s body and mind does not suffer from the internal wound of guilt in the same way a conscientious person’s does. Empathy, guilt, morality, ethics are unknown to him as much as they are unknown to silicon.

Check Out His Parents Before Accepting That Wedding Ring

For the conscientious person, the harm they caused doesn’t just exist “out there”; it lives inside them as a source of continuous psychological suffering. A psychopath does not have an internal life. Their is a profound inability to turn inwards, or reflect. Thus they evade the fires of introspection.

The DSM-V indicates that risk factors for psychopathy arise from a first degree biological relative with psychopathy. There are indicators that psychopathy is a result of a genetic predisposition in that the individual is born without conscience. There is evidence for neuroanatomical differences in antisocials. A rs-fMRI (resting state functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging) study of n=480 adjudicated antisocial offenders showed “uncoupled connections”in areas of the frontal and parietal lobes which are associated with attention, self regulation, the ability to control oneself, and resolve conflicts.

It was noted that physiological and anatomical deficits observed in the frontal /parietal areas, as well as the cerebellum, may account for the chronic low arousal, high impulsivity, lack of conscience, callousness, and decision-making problems commonly seen in individuals with psychopathy (Tang, Jiang, Liao, Wang, & Luo, 2013).

There is also evidence that environmental factors, such as internalizing messages from antisocial parents are at work in psychopathy. One possible developmental pathway if there are not appropriate treatment interventions is ODD, or RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder) , and CD leading to psychopathy.

So, all you young women out there, take a look at the mother, and father before you decide on the wedding dress.

The Consequences: Fate, Karma, or Simply Cause and Effect?

This is where the idea expands from psychology into a more philosophical realm. The hypothesis is that that the conscientious person who causes harm will inevitably suffer consequences that become their “fate or karma” but a psychopath may not be subject to such laws of nature. We can look at this through a few lenses:

1. The Psychological and Social Lens (Cause and Effect)

This is the most straightforward and observable mechanism. The consequences aren’t mystical; they are the direct result of the act and the person’s own psychology.

Acting unethically damages trust and can lead to the loss of friendships, family bonds, and romantic partnerships, resulting in isolation and loneliness. But loneliness to a psychopath is grounds of attracting more victims to himself. Through their charm and cunning, they manipulate many more innocent victims into their lives. So do they actually defy karma with their Will you walk into my parlor strategy of Mary Howitt.?

Violating one’s own moral code can lead to a damaged self-image. This can manifest as chronic anxiety, depression, paranoia (fear of being found out), and self-sabotaging behaviors. But for a psychopath, there is no moral code. And in total absence of guilt, can their dishonest or unethical acts actually cause anxiety, depression, paranoia ? No. being like silicon, they are devoid of “emotions” that cause these behavioral and mental health outcomes.

In a social world, unethical acts can ruin one’s reputation and career, leading to very tangible “fate-like” consequences. However, a psychopath has the ability to turn the narrative thru his cunning and manipulation. Here too they defeat karma, consequences, and therefore god

2. The Philosophical and Spiritual Lens (Karma)

The concept of karma is a spiritual principle of cause and effect where intentional actions have moral consequences that determine one’s future experiences.

· From this perspective, the psychopath, by not generating the “negative karma” of guilt, might be seen as avoiding one form of consequence. However, many spiritual traditions would argue that their actions still create profound negative karma that will manifest in other ways, perhaps in future lives or through eventual profound isolation and emptiness.

It has been exactly forty long years. And yet, there is not a single week when I don’t think of him. I spent hours in therapy discussing my grief at not having paid him. I have reflected internally, analysing how this debt would reflect on my karmic afterlife. I have wondered what his emergency was, and have spend nights agonising if the money that I should have paid him, could have saved someone’s life. And every temple I have worshipped in, I have asking God for a replay, a chance encounter, an opportunity to pay him back.

Such is the turbulent life of an empath.

On the other hand, I have been financially exploited by many members of my own family, several friends, and multiple acquaintances. And I wonder how that could be, what they must feel, how could they not feel any remorse ? And invariably, I wondered if these relationships were the Karmic debt from that one non-payment, or from other unethical acts that I may have inadvertently committed, ever?

Such incidents turn deeply introspective, and questions the nature of the universe, the nature of being, of existence, of our place in the universe, of the construct of right and wrong.

Such interiority, such analysis, such reflection, and such guilt is remarkably absent in psychopathic lives. The psychopaths would rather spend time watching movies, partying, drinking themselves silly – all diversions aimed at stifling the internal dialogue, avoiding facing the miserable truths and consequences of their unethical existence.

Conclusion: The Suffering of the Stone and the Suffering of the River

It’s important to distinguish between types of introspective dialogue:

A functional, adaptive emotion that signals a violation of our values and motivates us to make amends, learn, and grow. This is the “consequence” that leads to positive change. This is the “fate” of a healthy, morally sound empath.

A debilitating state where a person doesn’t just feel bad about their action (“I did a bad thing”) but about their entire self (“I am bad”). This would be the internal state of a psychopath if they could only spend time with themselves. It would lead to a cycle of self-punishment, depression, and further harmful behavior, becoming a self-fulfilling “fate” of misery. So, the psychopath keeps themselves busy. Hence, mostly, you’ll find psychopaths to be extroverts, party lovers, unable to tolerate their own existence, their own company.

Think of it this way:

·The Psychopath is like silicon. Or worse – like stones. They can slip through crevices of social and moral fibres with ease. They can crash through things without being damaged themselves. They don’t change shape from the impact. But – both silicon and stone are also inert; they don’t grow, connect, or experience the richness of a moral or an interior life. It is their “fate” to remain a stone, ultimately isolated, disconnected and potentially destroyed by a greater forces they never learnt to respect.

The Conscientious Person, an empath, is like a river. When the river hits an obstacle or becomes muddied, it suffers turbulence. It must work to become clear again. This process is painful, but it’s also what shapes the river, deepens its channels, and allows it to continue flowing toward a greater connection with the sea. The suffering is part of its growth and part of its “fate” of becoming a more integrated whole.

So, the psychologists make a powerful point. The absence of guilt may spare the psychopath one form of suffering, but it also cuts them off from the mechanisms of growth, connection, and peace that define a meaningful life. For the ethical person, the guilt they feel for causing harm is the very proof of their humanity, and while it is a painful consequence, it is also the seed of redemption, learning, and a more complex, and ultimately more resilient, fate. The psychopaths regretfully stumble through life with ignorance and stupidity.

There is A Crack In Everything; Thats How The Light Gets In

What in the world induced her to write this blogpost, you may well ask. There is, as usual, a method to my madness. For the past forty seven years this super-empath has been struggling to cut off the few psychopaths that she had picked up along the way. Boundary protections – well, I never learnt them. Mercifully, most psychopathic fellow travellers were shaken off – except that one. That one pervert clung to me unscrupulously, unashamedly for over forty seven years, controlling my life, manipulating, stealing, exploiting, sabotaging my existence, molesting my children, wilfully holding me tight in his vice like grip. Every struggle to leave the prison of my own making in innocent, gullible, adolescent years, was rendered futile. Only a person who has endured psychopathy for such a long duration would understand the trauma of such a fatal attraction where a psychopath takes the till death do us part vows quite literally.

Tonight, decisively abolishing the construct of justice in favor of the construct of freedom, I have wilfully cut off the final tie, at a terribly large financial expense to me.

It is wonderful to be finally free, I’m just trying to get to heaven before they close the door. (Dylan)

My interiority continues to question, wonder, contemplate, meditate…….on the silicon, the stone, the nature of karmic debts, the afterlife, and quantum physics. But the banter is light hearted, and as Cohen and Hemingway say: “We are all broken. There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.“